Names do matter

We have an online simulation Marketing game tool called MarkStrat which carries a fair share of the weightage for our marketing decision making paper. Now, in Markstrat, a bunch of students are put into an industry that has 5 companies (creatively) named - "A","E","I","O","U".

We have to make product management decisions and upload them and the simulation evaluates our decisions against the other companies and lets us know the results (refer to the website for details).

With this background, let me get to the crux. Some hours before, I received a call and no sooner had I lifted the phone than a voice cried out, "Are you U"?

Though stumped by the grammar and the blunt interrogation, I took the reconciliatory path and tried to get what the voice meant. Here is a reconstruction of what went on:

Voice: Are you U?
I: I am I?
Voice: You are I?
I: Oh, no.
Voice: You are "O"?
I: (consternated) Now then, what do you want?
Voice: Which team do you belong to?
I: What on earth does this mean?
Voice: I mean, in Markstrat

Hallelujah! Light dawns.

Why can't we have some proper names for these teams in that gawd-awful simulation?